LOCAL MAN CALLS TIM McGRAW ON HIS GEOGRAPHIC IGNORANCE

 Westbrook, ME 


Local drooler Darrel Wadsworth briefly saw that someone was talking about Tim McGraw's new song "Portland, Maine"on facebook on Wednesday and had some choice words for the musician.

"It's just dumb as all shit." said Wadsworth to anyone willing to listen. "I mean, I don't understand what he doesn't get.  It's in Maine, so it's in the Northeast, and then it has the word port in it's name, so it's coastal.  Northeast and coastal.  It's not fucking hard."


"Look," added Wadsworth, "I barely graduated from high school.  The last book I read was Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry in sixth grade.   I occasionally install car stereos, but mostly get by selling plasma and shitty skunk weed.  I'm not allowed to come within two hundred feet of Payless Shoes and Jokers Pizza.  I think Gettysburg is in the South.  I use the terms homo and philanthropist interchangeably.  My mother had to talk me down from devoting all my time and energy to a hip hop career after she pointed out that I was oblivious to the fact that un-ironically calling myself D-Wad wasn't exactly winning the people over.  But Jesus Christ, even I can find Portland on a fucking map."