CHAPTER 868: CROMATOLGISTICS

Recently, a large collection of books by a certain litigious religion found their way into the break room at work. Upon perusal of this material, I was amazed at just how brilliant these books were in terms of utilizing the utter meaningless of buzzwords in a way that makes the reader feel like they are unlocking the secrets of the universe. It was like someone had taken a McDonald's pamphlet on how they help the inner city by providing low paying jobs to the disenfranchised and turned it into a religion.

And it inspired me to create my own set of texts regarding the the proper reverence of Crom. Check it out!

What follows is a passage from CROMATOLOGISTICS: BOOK 12: SELF-HATEFUL-MANAGEMENT PART VIII - HATEFUL CLARITY AND THE POWERLESSNESS OF BUZZ WORDS

There was only ever one to Avatar and Prophet of Crom. His name was H. Russell Cardigan. He was an amateur science fiction and horror writer from Durham, ME who hoped to follow in the footsteps of fellow Durhamite, Stephen King, but the only thing that he ever managed to get published was an embarrassing, traced drawing of girl-Ranma in an issue of Nintendo Gaming Quarterly.

Shortly before his untimely death (attributed to the misuse of a Swedish Body Enhancement Device while driving), Cardigan came to believe that Crom, a Proto-Celtic deity with a tenuous connection to Valhalla was speaking to him in his dreams and started writing everything he was told down in wide ruled note books. While the vast majority of what Cardigan transcribed was an unbelievably long-winded string belittling comments about Cardigan's lack of masculinity and his mother's poor personal hygiene, as well as a diatribe about how Star Trek the Next Generation was better before Jonathan Frakes grew a beard, selected portions of these transcripts came to form the 125 volumes of Cromatologistics: A Logical System of Hateful Thought. In this selection, we will look at Cardigan's maxims regarding caution toward the manipulation of words in the Cromatologistic directed, self management systems.

An average person is asked "What is it that you hope to achieve, how do you intend to attain it, and why?".

There is a pause as this average person considers the question. Being an average person with average goals, they want what most people want - stupid material bullshit, hot sex and the ability to make people they dislike grovel before them. Being an average person with average motivation, intellect and patience, they have not actually accomplished these things because they have not figured out why they have not been given them as a reward for little or no effort. Eventually, this average person answers "Get rich by winning the lottery or American Idol, because I want stuff."

A Hateful Man is asked "what is it that you hope to achieve, how do you intend to attain it, and why?".

There is no pause. The Hateful Man knows the answer because he has long since achieved hateful clarity. The answer that he gives is clear, concise and to the point, because the hateful man has focused his life.

In a state of Hateful Clarity the Hateful Man sees his potential in the observation of reality, not in speculative accumulation of material gain, because he knows that it is only through the manipulation of reality, not the manipulation by fantasy that one can actually fulfill his or her needs and prioritize his or her wants in a manner that may allow them to be attained.

In order to achieve that which is a state of hateful clarity, one must be stripped of all endoingness - that is the intent to use nonexistent buzz words to seem more actively engaged in their own achievement than their average intelligence dictates. A person with an endoingness may or may not maximize their potentialness visa vie the use of such jargon, but they will never be born an elderly Chinese woman unless they are Chinese, female and have progeria.

Without an endoingness, there is no empowerment, and within that void one may actually find power. It is power that one should strive for, as it is power which our Lord Crom wields from his mountain throne on high, and its power that will enable you to rise above the powerless, not a sense of empowerment bestowed upon you by your ability to add extra suffixes and prefixes to words that do not require them.

There are some who would argue that this maxim invalidates their central beingness, that it strips them of purpose because it makes a mockery of their profession and their entire system of belief. Have they not accomplished, they exclaim, a station in life that enables them to enable others through the application of new linguistic dynamics into the field of embetterment of ones pillar of self-esteem? And they would be right, for their purpose is the viral spread gibberish to placate the unaccomplished with self-aggrandizing nu-speak, and Crom mocks them, for to him, their beingness of endoingness is the application of meaninglessness and where there is no meaning, there is also void, and from this void, one can seize ridicule and fling it back in the face of those who seek to attain nothingness for the accumulation of meaninglessness like the proverbial monkey with so much dung.

To be hateful is to realize the potential of reality, to realize that reality is real and meaninglessness is dumb, and to act as a smirking beacon of solace to those who also see the meaninglessness for what it is. That is why, when asked that initial question, the hateful man hisses "Don't fuck with me. I am Ahab.", bag tags the questioner and continues on his way to the food court, because those people who stop you and ask you questions at the mall are one step above carnival barkers.